It's been one of those days again. Quite a dismal Sunday. I'm going to take it out on my keyboard.
I caught myself wondering why the volume on my iPod wouldn't go past 30. "Touch of Grey" was playing. I could really use a louder iPod. Perhaps something for the hearing impaired. I want to rock out so loud that Hayden's whining seems like yesterday's news.
His behavior has been ATROCIOUS. Must be detox. It's time for a comprehensive stool analysis, metabolic analysis profile, and urine amino acids test. Will anyone volunteer to stir the shit, literally, for the stool test? I didn't think so. I'm out $700 and I have to mix poop for three days. Good times.
I hid the apples, raisins, juice, and bananas for Hayden's metabolic analysis profile. Some of the apples had been in the pantry for so long I practically had to peel them off the floor. Then I found my prize for the day. There were ants and gnats scurrying from the bag. What's up with me and these damn ants? I can't get rid of them...they're worse than my stretch marks.
I tried to administer hydroxy B12 drops to my excessively active four-year-old. In a partially lit room. On my braided rug. AND he wouldn't sit still. Unfortunately, B12 drops are beet red. By the time I finished, my living room looked like the Battle of Gettysburg. I got down on my hands and knees. I cleaned my kid, the rug, the floor, etc. I stopped what I was doing and realized that I'm unhappy. And in my eyes, I'm fat, I'm ugly, and my boobs don't pass Oprah's pencil test (which is equally disturbing as the first three complaints).
But now, the house is quiet. The dogs, the kid, the husband...are all in bed. I'm left to peck away at the computer keys. I made it through another day. That's all you can do, really. I will get by, one day at a time.
Oh, you should have linked this to my Music Monday meme I'm trying to get going :) Sorry you had such such a rough go. You're doing great though!
ReplyDeleteSorry, I don't see an email to contact you. I want to add you to my blogroll but my blog is G-PG rated so I need to rename your blog with &%#%@ signs. Do you have a preference? :) I'm liking the look of Autism's B&^#@ or Autism's B%#@! or just Autism's B----
ReplyDeleteHey girl. Hang in there. ANd that pencil test? I dont think so. I have tried it too. To pass that test unless your Eleven....would require a re-write of the laws of gravity. :)
ReplyDeleteLOL. Thanks! I told a friend tonight I wouldn't pass a 64 pack of crayons boob test. Breastfeeding did me in. If/when we can afford it, I'm heading to the nearest plastic surgeon...and my list is a mile long. :)
ReplyDeletethanks so much for coming by my blog .. i love your blog as well
ReplyDeletegloria
hmmm Autism's Bitch, you say the definition like it's a bad thing. (Just kidding, not a big fan of that act myself!) I make that joke for two reasons; #1 Everything is open to interpretaion, one man's nightmare is another man's dream & #2 because life can be so sadistic, you are ahead of the game if you know what to expect! You cannot prepare for what you don't acknowledge. Clearly, that won't be an issue with you. It must be liberating to be so blunt! Thank you for your honesty & candor, it makes me feel like I'm not alone. You also have an invaluable tool, a sense of humor which is a Godsend in the moments you describe so aptly! Good luck & I hope your days get better.
ReplyDeleteAre you referring to Autism's Bitch definition? And yes, it is quite liberating. Honesty is the best policy. ;)
ReplyDeleteI was referring to the definition. I meant to post it on comments to that section, but alas, I was sleep deprived! LOL. Oh, and sorry to hear about your rug. Walmart sells area rugs that are fairly cheap.
ReplyDelete:) Thanks...I'll definitely check those out. I love braided rugs. :)
ReplyDelete