I've Got A Spork, and I Know How To Use It

What's the only thing worse than catching your son's poop in your hands? Doing it for no good reason. I began shooting smoke out my ears earlier today. I was informed that the stool sample I worked so hard to collect cannot be used. Apparently, the kit had expired. And apparently, I'm losing my mind, because I never checked the expiration date. Although I would do it a thousand times again for my son (because he's SO worth it), it's still painful. So, if you need to contact me for any reason within the next few days, I'll be in the bathroom shoveling shit again.