The Days of My Life

Many of you wonder (probably not, actually) what a typical day in my house is like. I thought it was about time that you found out. Instead of baking pies and bringing my husband drinks to sip on while he lounges with his pipe by the fireplace, I typically witness events such as the following: Hayden is strumming the guitar and singing various things such as the Alphabet Song, Happy Birthday to Hayden (never mind that his birthday is in November), and something about riding in a car. Ayla is looking excited for him as she stares him down and shits her pants.

There is never a dull moment at the Engler household. And if you think it's just the kids that are entertaining, think again. The white dog is too scared to come in the house, and the brown one is busy barking at air in the kitchen.

We put the "fun" in dysfunctional.

Yes, Boobs Can Be Too Big (According to a Woman)

I haven't seen a lot of boobs in my life. I really don't have a desire to. But, it does seem to me that the bigger a girl is, the bigger her boobs are (fat girls with little boobs, please don't send me hate mail; skinny girls with big boobs, you know they're fake so shut the hell up).

My boobs aren't what I'd like them to be (who's really happy with their boobs, unless they're paid for?). I found a bra that promises to pump those babies up two cup sizes. I tried it on. Angels began singing. I'm pretty sure I heard an orchestra somewhere off in the distance.

I bought it, and took it home. Unfortunately, I didn't look at myself from the side until later. Oh Heavenly Father. A double D does not match my frame (no, I'm not skinny, but I could have poked an eye out with those damn things). Brock even said they were too big. It was like an elephant was in the room. Two of them, for that matter.

I regret to say that my bra will have to be returned, along with my newly-found-but-only-for-a-moment self-esteem. Back to mediocre-sized boobs I go. Besides pumping, there'll be no 'Expressing Myself' in the near future. Damn the luck.